Following the Swerve: Parenting with a Purpose and Wisdom
BY CINDY FISH
A few years ago, I was driving our minivan through an unfamiliar city with my three young children in the backseat. I was distracted, listening to a podcast and thinking over the problems of the day when the elderly lady in the car in front of me suddenly swerved out of our lane. I instinctively followed suit. My heart raced as I veered around a large object on the road.
As I passed the object, I realized it was just a flattened cardboard box. Ugh, I thought, I shouldn’t have reacted!
Then just as quickly, the thought hit me: What if? What if the flattened cardboard box had instead been something that could have harmed us? With my babies in the backseat, I couldn’t afford to drive carelessly.
In that moment, I felt the prompting of the Holy Ghost. I thought of how younger generations, mine included, often look at those in front of us and think they may have swerved and avoided some things unnecessarily. From our perspective, what they swerved to avoid seems harmless. However, many of those convictions were born through prayer and experience. This made me consider my choices, the path I was following, and its effect on my children.
Our choices will affect our children. When my one-year-old lifts her hands during worship or my five-year-old rocks her doll the same way I rock her baby sister, I’m reminded that my children are watching me. It’s a blessing and a burden that I don’t take lightly.
After that highway moment, God began to work on me as a mother. I didn’t grow up in a godly home. Consequently, I’m having to unlearn a few toxic habits and parenting practices. Motherhood has a way of exposing both the best and worst in us. Seeing my own weaknesses has made me determined to raise my kids a better way.
As a new mom, I habitually turned to Google or Instagram parenting experts when questions arose. And while many of their tips were helpful— especially when it came to things like sleep training or feeding—they didn’t have the same end goal for their children as I did. Those “experts” weren’t raising their children to know and serve the Lord. When it comes to my children’s walk with God, I want tried and true advice. I want guidance rooted in God’s Word.
Parenting trends shift constantly. What’s “right” one decade is ridiculed the next. But when it comes to training up children in the way they should go, I want to follow an old path. Titus 2:4 tells us that older women should teach the younger women how to love their children. That’s not outdated—it’s divine design.
The voice of an elder has become priceless to me. And by “elder,” I mean anyone farther along than I. That’s the advice I give most often to new moms when asked: find older women you admire
As an evangelist’s wife, I have special opportunities to sit with ministry families all over the country. When I see something I admire—grown children still serving God, families that are close—I ask, “How did you do it?” “What helped most?” “How did you raise kids with a prayer life like that?” I take notes. I tuck away wisdom. And while no two families are exactly alike, I’ve noticed some common threads.
Here are a few practical pieces of advice I’ve taken to heart and put into practice.
1. Pray with your children—and teach them how.
Any prayer model will do. A family we greatly admire taught us the PARTY prayer model: Praise, Ask, Repent, Thanks, Yield. It’s simple yet powerful. Teaching our kids a structure for prayer gives them confidence to pray out loud, and it has given me a tool to help them get involved in church events. I might whisper, “Let’s praise right now,” or “God is moving—let’s yield to Him.” Prayer becomes not just something we do at bedtime, but a way of life.
2. Serve with gladness.
We have the opportunity to shape our kids’ view of ministry. Whether it’s a church workday, praying with others at the altar, or cleaning up after an event, do it with a smile and let them help you. It’s not always convenient, but over and over I hear from older moms that letting their kids participate was worth the extra effort. Our children will thrive when they feel ownership in the work of God.
3. Build a foundation in the Word.
Scripture is the unchanging truth in a constantly shifting world. We must help our kids memorize key verses through repetition and look for everyday moments to teach the Word. It’s not just the Sunday school teacher’s job; it’s our job as well. We remind our children, “God knew you before you were born.” “He has a plan for your life.” “You are made on purpose, with a purpose.” Let their identity be shaped by the Word, not the world.
God is not limited to church services or prayer meetings. He speaks in the mundane—on the highway, in the laundry room, or while rocking a fussy baby. If our hearts are attuned to Him, He will teach us, shape us, and help us disciple our children.
I’m so thankful God used a moment of panic to redirect my heart. He reminded me of a precious gift I’d been overlooking: the voice and wisdom of an older generation. In a world full of noise, that kind of guidance is a treasure.
Thankfully, we don’t walk alone on the journey of parenthood. We stay close to God, follow those who came before us, and lead little ones who are following close behind.
By Cindy Fish